Thursday, 30 December 2010

New Beginnings

I have two days left of the way I live my life at the moment.

Sounds pretty big.  And maybe it will be, but basically I am talking about getting my act together.

If you were to ask people who know me, they would probably say that I am fairly well organised and tend to get things done.  Two problems here - 'fairly' and 'tend'.  I create a better illusion than the actual reality.  I am far from being able to put my hands on something when I want it, I am not very good at finishing projects and have areas in my house and office that would horrify you.  But what's worse is that I have learnt to live like this.

I have wondering for a long time what it would be like if I could find what I wanted when I wanted it, if I was on top of my emails and didn't have half finished projects lying around.  I think that it would be lovely.

The biggest barrier to achieving this? Me.

There seems to be so much to do, that I don't know where to start.  Its off-putting, it is easier to ignore everything that I think I have to do, rather than just getting on and doing it.  But this is also part of the problem, I pile the pressure on with a long to do list - severely demotivating.

For example, my mum came to stay recently and a couple of months before her arrival I decided that it would be great to have the house 'done'.  In my mind this included repainting three rooms and 'deep cleaning' the house.  Needless to say, I didn't achieve all of this.  I did paint two rooms (Husband was pivotal in this) but found myself shoving stuff into the third room in a desperate attempt to tidy hours before mum arrived.

You see, I have kidded myself that I work best under pressure.  I have applied this theory since writing essays for university 12 years ago.  It isn't true.  If it was true I would never think after I had completed something "I wonder what I could have achieved if I had given myself more time?"

I am the Procrastination Queen.  The online world is a constant distraction, I will go out of my way to help someone if it means I don't have to iron.  But I will iron if it means I don't have to write an email.  I have an absurd talent for not doing exactly what needs doing.  This journey is going to be about more than sorting out drawers and cupboards, my attitude is going to get decluttered too.

So, this is another attempt (there have been several others) to get into gear.  Now, it maybe that it doesn't work out, that committing to blog about my progress adds a new and previously absent layer of pressure.

But I guess there is only one way to find out.  Wish me luck!

The Declutter Diarist.